Girls like when it big

[special thanks to Christian Crane, who I understand is Hart Crane's great-grandson, and from whose masterful poem* I chose the title of this crypto-RECAP.]

Your main organis too small.  Tired of loosing control in bad.  Don't worry we know the solution of this trouble.  Try these strategies and you will become a king of bad.  A key from her bedroom is in your pants!

[sex jokes in bold for your easy digestion]

1. ...what is low raise and support; / That...you may assert Eternal Providence, / And justify the ways of Obama to men... [Obamadicy.]
2. se-: sow, as in those wild oats—Kriss Kringle right down that aviary's chimney, y'all, awww yeah!  [fun with etymons]
3. Lay some pipe on that e in se- above.  [italicize this]
4. More like Cha-boner!  HAW!  [flatulent poison-green baloney]**
5. Um . . . SEX!!! [worshipping at the temple]
6. Put Eddie Murphy in your butt. [vandalism: always funny]

Grow up your Love Banana.  All girls LIKE BIG.

* Girls like when it big

by Christian Crane

[VIA E-MAIL]

Try new way of big daddy enlargement.

Girls will drive crazy with your size.

Girls like when it big.

[Another great quasi-haiku I received via e-mail, but from which I did not want too prominently to quote because I've lost the name of the poet, goes like this: "Bam. A rocking baller cock in your pants."  Who said poetry is dead!]

** No: when you mean bullshit, you do not not spell it bologna.