gum ad update

Even more despicable than I had imagined.  I knew the "make face time" ads (see here and here) were shallow and manipulative, guilty of false sincerity (arguably the worst kind of deception), but I wouldn't have guessed that the company would follow through with the bullshit.

Here's the New York Times letting itself be an uncritical vessel for the corporation's ridiculous message, featuring an incredible quotation from Dentyne marketing director Josette Barenholtz:

"Dentyne ads have always pictured romantic couples, in which the guy gets the girl thanks to his minty fresh breath.  Chewing gum ads have traditionally trumpeted the practical benefits of gum, like fresh breath or healthy teeth.

    "The new ads break from those traditions.  The message is emotional instead of functional, Ms. Barenholtz said, and appeals to a broad range of people looking to connect with family or friends, not just lovers.

    "'It is time for Dentyne to up its game and own a credible and meaningful message,' she said."

Who's got the tar and feathers? . . . And come on, New York Times, "The new ads break from those traditions"?  At least the preposterous claim that that these ads are "emotional instead of functional" is being attributed to a Dentyne spokesperson; the idea that they are not about getting the girl thanks to fresh breath, not about the benefits of gum, is just outrageous.  You think that when you're reporting on advertising you don't have any responsibility to question the message?—don't have any responsibility to dig beneath the surface of a corporation's self-promotion?  Are you providing information to the people, or are you giving Dentyne complimentary ad space?

The collaboration of the Times may be disappointing, but this is just too much to take: "Dentyne™ gum—the champion of human connections[!!]—is declaring that it's time for Canadians to get face to face with family and friends.  The experts at Dentyne™ gum have launched a national campaign in support of generating more, authentic face time... The Dentyne™ survey revealed many Canadians feel that they are losing their personal touch with family and friends..."

There is no such thing as reality.  Dentyne has forgotten about gum sales and has devoted itself to saving us from ourselves.  Somebody ought to give these people a fucking Nobel Prize.

[UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Holy...shit.]