Wednesday, October 29, 2008

We are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast...


Ghostbusters is one of my favorite movies—even though my friend Kent Jones at Film Comment blames it for "the various 'winning' formulae that have been afflicting American cinema since [its] runaway success" (e.g., "whizzing music-saturated action, heavy character typing, pop cultural droppings, and junior high scenarios of lessons learned and difficulties overcome through perfunctory chases or 'really good talks'"), and even though someone recently pointed out to me that it's basically a Reagan-era fantasy (the heroes are small-business owners persecuted by the eggheads at the university; the main bad guys include a pagan architect and the EPA).  Maybe I just like it because I saw it when I was 6 years old (in a drive-in theater—we had to drive out of the movie during the "terror dog" scene because I got too scared, and I remember watching Rick Moranis pound on the windows of the Tavern on the Green through the rear windshield of our Datsun station wagon), but really I think it's just one of those movies that transcends itself, and some damned good comedy.

But so there's that scene when they catch the Focused Nonterminal Repeating Phantasm (Class 5 Full-Roaming Vapor)* and the hotel manager (in one of my [many] favorite lines) tries to get out of paying:


When I was teaching The Great Gatsby, my students wanted to know how much Gatsby's house cost in current dollars, and one of them (the students, not the dollars) actually found an "Inflation Calculator"—at westegg.com, appropriately enough—that gave or at least claimed to give an answer.**  So, adjusting for inflation, how much did it cost in 1984 to have the Ghostbusters rid your hotel of pesky ghosts?  $9,857.76.  (I had no idea it would be so much; I won't pay it.)

Ten thousand in one night ain't bad.  Of course they've got to split it three and then later four ways (although, I don't know, you think Winston Zeddmore's really an equal partner?***), but the montage following their success in the hotel suggests that they keep very busy.  They must have a sliding scale, though, right?  I mean, are they billing that guy in Chinatown ten thousand 2007 dollars?  Or is he paying them in duck?  Assuming that (a) $5,000 (1984) is the high end and that the average is more like, I don't know, $3,000?—and that (b) they're catching a ghost about once a day (which is probably conservative), these motherfuckers must be pulling in about a quarter million 1984 dollars a year each (assuming/hoping the black guy isn't getting screwed), or about 500,000 in 2007 dollars.  Of course, they've got to pay back the mortgage on the house Ray's parents left him (he was born there)****—but to paraphrase Max Fischer, they started a hit business, so they're not sweating it, either.

On the other hand, isn't the defeat of Gozer, which is such good news for the plot of the movie, in fact terrible news for the company?  Pecker—excuse me, Peck—accuses the Ghostbusters of generating fake ghosts, but he may be righter than we give him credit for: the Ghostbusters' incentive to actually rid the City of ghosts is extraordinarily low.  Janine says it earlier when the roof blows off their firehouse, but it might be truer still of their marshmallowy victory: "It's a sign, all right: going out of business."



* Real nasty one, too.  (No one born before 1981 should ever refer to that thing as "Slimer."  That's the rule.)
** If Wikipedia's right that the main action of the novel takes place in 1922 (I am too lazy to check: that's exactly the kind of detail I'm least good at remembering), then Gatsby's house, which "rented for twelve or fifteen thousand a season" [emphasis on the rented if you're trying to analyze the shit], would go for something like $170,000 in the 2007 summer season.
*** He does have one of the best lines and one of the worst lines in the entire movie.  Best: "I have seen shit that would turn you white!" (said to a white guy).  Worst: "I love this town!" (nonsense).
**** OK, I and my parents before me have always been renters, so I've got to admit that I am shamefully ignorant when it comes to mortgages.  When Egon says, "For your information, the interest rate alone for the first five years comes to $95,000,"a what does that even mean?  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  ("You never studied.")
a 187 thousand in 2007 dollars.

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