I get the impression that a lot of bicyclists in New York, N.Y., aren't so much defiant of the law as they are ignorant of it—so this rant doubles as a public-service announcement.
The law for bikes is pretty much exactly the same as the law for cars. If you see a red light, you're supposed to stop. If you're on a one-way street, you're supposed to go one way. If you're on the sidewalk, you're supposed to get off of it. You see the pattern. Now, I don't really care if you disobey those laws. There's no great reason why you should stop at a red light if no one's coming. After all, obedience is for suckers.
BUT:
What does burn my toast is when you break the law and act like everyone else is supposed to roll over to make it easier for you. If I step into the street when I've got the walk sign, don't you zoom by me ringing your stupid little bell and yelling "WATCH IT!" when you're the one running a red light and going the wrong way on a one-way street; if I had a stick I'd stick it in your spokes, you schmuck. And if you're riding your bike on the sidewalk (and you're not like 12 years old), don't expect me to squeeze against a building to let you through: I'm supposed to be on the sidewalk, I don't walk out into your stupid little bike lane and expect you to swerve into traffic to avoid me. (A non–bike related version of this is when pedestrians are waiting to cross the street and are standing in a lane—like a lane that cars drive down—and a car honks at them because they're in the way, and they get all mad and say, "FUCK you!" and sometimes hit the car as it goes by. I've seen this happen again and again.) Rule of thumb: if you're going to break the law, own that you're breaking the law. There's a big difference between "I'm going to do what I want, and I don't really care too much what you or society thinks" and "I'm always right and you're always wrong if we disagree, no matter what the context." The former I can't really argue with if you aren't going to whine when you get busted; the latter should probably result in mandatory sterilization.
In short, go ahead and run that red light, but if you do, you'd better yield your dick off to pedestrians.
The other day I was crossing Broadway with the light, and this dude on a bike cruised through the crosswalk and slammed into some pedestrian who was crossing along with me, a few feet ahead. No apologies: the pedestrian literally limped (more like hopped, actually) to the curb, and the dude on the bike just took right off back down Broadway. So I yelled after him: "You just ran a red light, you idiot!" He looks over his shoulder at me as he goes: "Fuck you, asshole!" OK, fair enough. So I shout, "You just knocked somebody over!" At which point a bystander on a whole other corner pipes in: "What are you gonna do about it?"—a strange response, I thought: I guess some people can only conceive of a conflict in terms of challenge and response, macho business, as if every difference were meaningful only in terms of the fight that could result from it and the only way to judge a disagreement were a pissing contest.*
Anyway, I have an answer. Here's what I'm gonna do about it: I'm gonna think about that dude's sexual impotence and smile. (Hey, maybe it does result in mandatory sterilization!)
* Side note/flashback: "tough guys are invariably insecure babies."
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