criticizing, judging...

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Are those gerunds? A gerund is a verbal noun, but in the context of this ad I feel the -ing words in question are more abbreviations, with an understood we're (or we've been). In which case these aren't gerunds but rather...present participles? (I'm good at grammar—damned good*—but my Achilles heel is terminology.**) Not all -ing words are gerunds, Freelancers Union! You jerks!***

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This is a good one. I took this picture because I wanted to say something like, "It can really pay to tell someone you know about Citibank...and it's guaranteed to be lots of fun, too!"—because it's so funny to me that they'd use this picture to illustrate this concept: imagine the conversation we're supposed to think they're having, like, "Oh, man, Citibank sounds GREAT! And kinda funny, too, am I right?"

But so this sign was hanging up in a Citibank, and I took out my phone to take a picture, and a security guard immediately was like, "Sir." And he came over and told me that I couldn't take pictures. I said, "Of an advertisement?" And he said, "Yeah." He was nice about it, just doing his job—but one of two things is true, here: either...

1. ...they actually have a rule that says you can't take pictures of their ads (which reminds me a little of this), or...
2. ...much more likely, they just have a general rule about not taking pictures of the bank (for robbery-prevention purposes) and this is a classic case of mindless, overly broad application of a possibly too-general rule.

Either way, I was amused. Maybe I just liked getting to pretend like I was doing something rebellious. The funny part was, I did rob the bank later—it just didn't have anything to do with taking pictures! Isn't ironic?****

* Which is not to say, of course, that I don't make careless mistakes now and again, particularly in the context of something super casual and conversational like this-here blog. But it is to say that I probably make a lot fewer mistakes than you do. Yeah, I went there.

** Achilles' Achilles heel was Achilles' heel. I mean, Achilles' heel was Achilles' Achilles heel. (Heel.)

*** I might just be mad because I don't make enough money to join the union.

**** As I was very eager to point out when I was in high school, the following things are NOT ironic in any sense of the word:

• rain on your wedding day
• a free ride when you've already paid
• good advice that you just didn't take

(I also used to get a kick out of pointing out that God does have a name, and you're not supposed to "call it to his face.")