what I'm up to

I feel like I'm driving Alt85 around with a coupla flat tires. Partly this is because I had no Internet for most of the week; mainly, though, I think it's because I'm finally starting work on a new big project for the first time in a couple of months, which means that this baloney—hogwash, bunkum, whatever—is no longer effectively the only thing I'm doing with my life.*

[Remember when Captain Caveman picked up that van and flew it over a traffic jam? I still think of that sometimes. What I didn't remember was that his particular Scooby rip-off crew was all hot women! The Teen Angels? Seriously? Brenda, Dee Dee, and Taffy, according to Wikipedia. I knew there was a reason I liked that show. Of course, I also liked He-Man, which it turns out was incredibly bad, and I remember being pretty excited about the Pac-Man cartoon show, which can't have been good. What else was there? Shirt Tales, that bullshit with the Humphrey Bogart monkey and the panda and whoever else, who all lived in a tree(?) and had shirts that changed color—whaa? I had a Shirt Tails garbage pail: I was an idiot. Then there was Jabberjaw, another preposterous Scooby-Doo rip-off, and that one with the lion who said "Heavens to Murgatroyd." The Snorks and Gummi Bears are almost too obvious to mention (and rewatching the opening credits of those shows I think I remember having the feeling even at age 7 that they were somehow phony, over-produced, sort of a shock-and-awe kind of phenomenon in that they were presented as fancier and better than the rest of what was around but were somehow empty...or maybe all I'm remembering is their never being as cool as I expected them to be). Fraggle Rock was totally trippy and amazing and great, as I recall. Muppet Babies came later and were best consumed with pancakes. But Captain Caveman, who walked around carrying a big phallic symbol, would often store things in his weird hairy vulva-body—very possibly the inspiration for Twentieth Century Eightball's amazing "Furburger"—and wouldn't be out of place at some orgiastic hipster party circa 2006...that was really something. Good? Maybe no. But something, for sure.]

the captain

* That's not really true, that it was the only thing I was doing with my life. (But is it really false, either? [ANSWER: neither true nor false. (I've linked to that shit before. [No one knows what has happened to Dr. Math (it is believed, by some, that he is in the Phantom Zone, with Supergirl and Peter O'Toole; that's got to be one hell of a party.)])])