more laziness [UPDATED]

[Following, some shit I had on my computer from years past.]

"Alright...there's a giant, mutated scorpion posing imminent danger to our heroes. Despite the fact that He-Man could do the obvious by just walking around the scorpion, or even just kicking him 50 miles out of the way, he debuts a new move. A really, really weird new move.

"To combat the scorpion, He-Man digs his hands into a pile of sand and...makes glass? Yes, that's what he's doing. He's using his super-speed and heat capabilities to make large pieces of glass. Why, He-Man? Why are you making glass? Who TAUGHT you to make glass?!"

–x-entertainment.com (c.2001)*

Baby Hitler. (They're so cute when they're small.)

From Neatorama via Boing Boing (I guess—it was February 2007).

Best thing ever. Not sure where it's from: I sent it to my doctor friend in an e-mail in 2001. (Q.v.)

This is in poor taste but amazing. From Ween's web site.

Don't remember where this came from, but you can click to enlarge.

Excellent desk. (via Boing Boing)

From wellingtongrey.net, via boingboing.net.

Excellent spam. I guess it doesn't really enlarge, so here's what it says: the subject is "How to tell you are not a geek," and the answer is, "Have hot and steamy sex every night with your new pecker." I guess that would do it.

Not sure where this came from, but it reminds me of the image that came into my mind when I was teaching Oedipus some years ago and a tenth-grader asked how in the world Oedipus was supposed to have accidentally slept with his mom.

Creepy/cool: long-exposure photography. (Q.v.)

From the New Yorker, mid-September 2008.

In conclusion, I am angry that there's no good way to put sound files up on Blogger that I know of because there's a funny Simpsons sound file I want to put up.† In my day, Simpsons sound files were THE WHOLE POINT OF THE INTERNET.

* I can't tell you how sad I am that this animated GIF doesn't seem to work anymore. Thank God for the one from Goonies 2!

† Homer on phone: "Hello, Domino's? What do you mean you're not open? No, you call me back during business hours! I'll show you who's a recorded message!" [12/19/09: Here you go.]