You ask the impossible.

A restroom at a restaurant or bar (I forget).

OK. It would be very easy for me to get hung up on the suggestion that customers might want to clean the area after using it (if they're talking about wiping your pee off the toilet seat, then yes—although how about not peeing on the toilet seat?—but doesn't it sort of sound like they're suggesting you kind of actually...clean the bathroom for them? I mean, yes, that would be "kind," for sure, to say the least...), but that's not why I called this meeting.

What really caught my attention was the third bullet point, or rather the juxtaposition of the second and third. One: please clean this area after each usage! Two: it is not possible to clean after each usage!

I understand what they're saying. We all probably get what they're saying. But it sure as hell sounds like they're saying something like—

IMPORTANT!

• Please be sure to wash your hands before returning to work!
• Washing your hands before returning to work is impossible!

If I'm not misremembering, my ex-wife's* favorite moment in those redubbed G.I. Joe PSAs that were going around about 10 years ago [seven?] was: "Give him the stick! Don't give him the stick!" A similar thing, really.


* IMPORTANT NOTE: I have never been married.